A bit of right royal madness!

WELL I am bored with it already…the impending Royal wedding that is. While I am happy to acknowledge a bit of good news when I see it and they seem a decent enough couple of people, to be honest I really couldn’t care if Wills and Katie live in sin for the rest of their lives or tie the knot in Westminster Abbey, St Paul’s or their local Holiday Inn.
I have never been a huge fan of the Royal family, they are an expensive bunch to run and are not always particularly well-behaved. The only time it got interesting was during the Fergie years and that was only because she really didn’t give a damn about what anyone thought of her.
But it’s true to say that the morning after the big announcement (if you ask me a brilliant ploy by the coalition government to try and distract us all from the massive looming spending cuts and inevitable pre or post Christmas doom) day time TV went crazy!
Breakfast presenters had the biggest grins I have ever seen in my life and seemed delighted to announce “there’s only one story worth talking about this morning!” As a journalist of 24 years standing I can obviously see the news value of a Royal engagement, but I was actually quite keen to hear about how the couple captured by the Somali pirates were getting on…and to be honest I was happier to hear the news that you can now download Beatles tracks on itunes than to discover our future king produced his dead mother’s engagement ring from a rusksack while on safari in Kenya…(does that make it second hand or vintage?)
The TV nonsense continued with a certain chef creating vol-u-vents ‘fit for any Royal wedding reception’ HAS HE LOST HIS MIND!!! Just because he made fillings containing asparagus and finely chopped delicacies such as boiled eggs with capers, those nasty seventies pastry snacks do not a royal wedding reception make I am afraid!
And then of course the inevitable “what will she wear” question hung over us. The bloated has-been that is David Emanuel was plonked on a sofa and quizzed about his thoughts on who Katie would choose to design the gown. Well I think one thing is certain-it ain’t gonna be him! (and at least we know now where all the vol-u-vents probably ended up!)
I know he designed the Diana dress and all that but that was 30 years ago…I mean how long can one possibly dine out on such an accolade…oh 30 years apparently.
And so as we work our way through the first week of Royal Wedding fever I will be expecting to discover delightful trinkets emblazoned with the smiley couple, a lot of gossip from people claiming to be ‘close to Katie and Wills’ and a lot of has beens and d list celebs all desperate to be on THE wedding list of the decade.

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