Honestly dating

A couple of years ago I wrote my second book. It was about Internet dating and the minefield that exists for anyone who is trying to find love on line 

I used my experiences of the almost 100 internet dates that I endured, and I mean endured, over a period of several years when I was first a single parent, to bring the book together and give readers some real life experiences and stories to draw on.
I also talked to other singletons about their experiences and what they really thought about looking for love online.
During my internet dating career and through the interviews and research I carried out to write the book, the same theme kept cropping up time and time again. Honesty!
We all know that we can all be anyone we want to been we enter the world of cyberspace! Whether we choose to adjust our age by a few years, decide we really can squeeze into those size 10 jeans, or convince ourselves that yes we do actually do downhill skiing on a regular basis, many people looking for love on line are guilty of subtle, and not so subtle, profile tweaking.
We make these adjustments to try and secure interest that will hopefully, eventually, lead to a date, a few more dates and even a relationship. Then, when the inevitable happens and he/she doesn’t call or decides to say that you weren’t quite what they were hoping for we become disillusioned, negative and plummet into a spiral of misery. The fact is, my single friends, that we have told a few too many porkies and the internet dating world has had enough!
I learned the hard way that to be successful at online dating you have to take it seriously, without it taking over your life, and devote some time to building a really good profile, answering messages and applying yourself to the process. The other thing that you have to do is be brutally ,honest about who you are and what you want.
It may sound like common-sense, not to mention common courtesy, but in the increasingly competitive world of searching for love, it is all too easy to tell a couple of white lies just to get a bit of interest. You may have the intention of putting these minor indiscretions right in the goodness of time, but if your date sees through you and decides there is no chemistry you will never have the chance to make sure they know the REAL you.
With the internet dating business worth billions and new sites popping up every week, surely it is time for some better dating behaviour?
Honestlydating.com is a brand new, fresh dating site that has a unique approach for anyone looking for love on line. The two dynamic businesswomen behind the venture have decided that honesty really is the best policy, and have launched their site with the intention of impressing upon their members the need for 100 percent honesty.
Sick and tired of turning up for dates with men who lied, manipulated and left out vital details on their online profiles, Clare and Anona decided enough was enough and internet dating had to get tough.
Clare told me: “Internet dating isn’t going anywhere, if anything the business will just get bigger. Once upon a time looking for internet dates was a bit of a taboo and people didn’t always admit to it. We know have a situation where we are swamped by dating sites that are full of people telling lies and being dishonest about who they are and what they stand for. It’s time for this to stop and we hope that honestlydating.com will really appeal to anyone who’s had bad experiences in the past and is looking for a fresh, unique internet dating option.”
As well as insisting on honesty, the site has a unique feedback system that allows singletons to review their dates. The system scores people on everything from what kind of company they were, to how punctual they were.
Clare added: “So often people go on an internet date and never hear from that person again. You can’t make any self improvements if you don’t know where you are going wrong, and we hope that our feedback system will help people with personal development and give them more confidence when it comes to meeting new people.”
It has been well documented that some dating sites buy databases of profiles to make their sites look very attractive to new members. Clare and Anona a feel this is wrong and misleading.
Anona added: “We are expecting our members to be honest and we will be honest too! We are offering the first 500 people to contact us a free lifetime membership to the site to launch it and we will not be buying fake profiles just to fill it up. People look for love online because they want to share their life with someone and fill a void. We want our members to know that we realise we have a responsibility to them and we want to provide them with a wide range of honest profiles from honest people who want some honest dating!”

To win one of 500 free memberships like Honestly Dating on Facebook or follow them on Twitter @honestlydate

Published by Sarah Adams

I am the author of The Life Edit, an eight step personal development coaching programme that harnesses the power of journalling and writing to help people make transformational changes to their lives. I am also journalist and writer who has worked for newspapers, magazines, TV and online for the last 35 years, and an accredited personal development practitioner. I have written books, appeared on TV and radio and have worked in the world of corporate communications as a senior manager. I launched and ran The Community Media Group for ten years-this is a social enterprise that exists to produce professional, community newspapers in socially challenging areas as well as providing free training.

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