Shock news! Happy relationships err make you happy?!

Because I am happy!

SHOCK news! Apparently happy relationships make for happy people! Now we are all intelligent human beings so this latest research revelation should not come as a total shock to us, however, it does beg the question-how happy are you and should we really rely on others to maximise our happiness quota?
New research has revealed that happy relationships help people cope far better with stress, problems and adversity as well as actively encouraging them to achieve new goals and reach new heights in their lives and careers.
It is pretty obvious to me, and anyone else out there with half a brain, that a relationship that oozes happiness is far preferable to being stuck in a miserable and empty relationship, and it goes without saying that happiness is ultimately what we all strive for. If we are in a supportive and happy relationship not only will our relationship thrive and grow, but the rest of our lives should as well by very nature of the fact that we have support, encouragement and love from someone who genuinely cares about us.
However, when we are still single and searching for our life partner, should we really have the expectation that when we meet ‘the one’ they will instantly bring an extra dimension of happiness to us that will have a profound and lasting affect on our lives?
It is really important to understand why you want to meet someone and what your hopes and expectations are for a potential relationship. Some people are very honest about this and simply declare that they want great sex with no strings, or someone with plenty of money or someone who is exceptionally attractive. Other people have a dating agenda that they choose to keep under wraps.
A good friend of mine used to endlessly declare that she just wanted to meet someone who was kind and she didn’t care if he was a road sweeper or a lawyer because what people do for a living is irrelevant. This is utter rubbish and this particular friend has only ever dated gallery owners, businessmen, doctors and anyone else with large houses and privately educated children. She had a dating agenda but it was a long way from what she claimed in public. Interestingly, she remains single.
There is a very strong argument for honesty, after all it is the whole ethos behind the dating website but I think that honesty has to start with ourselves. If we are truly, deeply unhappy and are desperately trying to find someone to make us happy, we will end up giving out very needy vibes and possibly attracting someone very needy into our lives. Far better to actively work on our happiness levels ourselves, take personal responsibility for making some positive changes to our lives and then go out and look for someone. If you feel you need to be rescued then you are probably not going to end up in a happy relationship. However, if you rescue yourself first and project a happy and positive image to others the chances are you will meet your Mr or Miss Happy and really have a happily ever after.
This week, try and do five things that make you happy. It doesn’t matter what they are but trust me if you are happy, smiling, upbeat and positive then you will be more attractive to the opposite sex. My husband first met me in my kitchen after he was invited to a BBQ by a good friend. He says he will never forget my big smile and happy laugh. He claims it was love at first sight.
So go forward and be happy my friends!

Happy dating!

Published by Sarah Adams

I am the author of The Life Edit, an eight step personal development coaching programme that harnesses the power of journalling and writing to help people make transformational changes to their lives. I am also journalist and writer who has worked for newspapers, magazines, TV and online for the last 35 years, and an accredited personal development practitioner. I have written books, appeared on TV and radio and have worked in the world of corporate communications as a senior manager. I launched and ran The Community Media Group for ten years-this is a social enterprise that exists to produce professional, community newspapers in socially challenging areas as well as providing free training.

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