Dating rules! What rules?


I love my job. In fact, I think I probably have the best job in the world.

I can work at home-in a onesie if the mood takes me-and write about things that I really enjoy and have knowledge of. For the purposes of this blog, that ‘thing’ is of course onlinedating,and dating in general, a topic that I have extensive knowledge and plenty of direct experience of, good, bad and ugly. In some cases very bad and extremely ugly.

However, happy as I am to share my dating experiences with everyone, I am finding that quite apart from writing about dating, I have become the person that single friends call on in times of dating crises. Delighted as I am to listen, advise and soothe, I am not entirely sure I ever really provide them with the answers they really need.

For example, the old classic question of ‘how long should I wait until I text him back’ just keeps on cropping up and to be honest with you I am simply not sure what rules actually apply. Over the years, many books have been written about the so-called dating rules, but do they help us shape relationships or potential relationships or do they hinder? Do they hold us back and lead to missed opportunities or protect us from a broken heart?

I have heard single friends of mine refer to the rules many times, and each time I have to question why they are putting so much trust in, and emphasis on, something that has largely been made up!

Personally I think we should throw out the rule book and I have said this many times before. The rules change depending on the book you read anyway, and the so called expert you call on, and I am just of the opinion that life is too short to play games.

If you meet someone, you like them, you get with them and you feel like you want to spend some more time getting to know them then why wait for three days to answer a text?! It is dating madness and potentially relationship suicide. Dating is tough for men and women so don’t make things harder by playing waiting games.

For a start men are scuppered from the word go because whatever they say or do can so easily be wrong or misinterpreted, and as for women if we are too keen they don’t like it and if we are too standoffish then we run the risk of missing out!

I know these are both generalisations, but really my friends just get out there! Go on some dates, if you like each other then arrange to meet again and if you don’t then politely move on.

We are now in the festive season, a time of goodwill to all men (and women) so do yourselves and your dates a favour, be honest, be safe, have fun but don’t waste time tying yourself up in knots trying to play by some made up rules. Just go with the flow and who knows who you might find in your Christmas stocking this year?

Published by Sarah Adams

I am the author of The Life Edit, an eight step personal development coaching programme that harnesses the power of journalling and writing to help people make transformational changes to their lives. I am also journalist and writer who has worked for newspapers, magazines, TV and online for the last 35 years, and an accredited personal development practitioner. I have written books, appeared on TV and radio and have worked in the world of corporate communications as a senior manager. I launched and ran The Community Media Group for ten years-this is a social enterprise that exists to produce professional, community newspapers in socially challenging areas as well as providing free training.

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